welcome to my abyssy
just my writings
welcome to my abyssy
just my writings
i have not written in a bit, but yeah i am alive.
as i sit here with noise of a busy downtown night life. a cloud of uncertainty hovers over me.
i wake up with the sensation that i need to grow up and outgrow my hesitations.
i fear of never reaching my potential.
i fear of always falling short.
i fear i quit before i am done with whatever it is i am doing.
i fear of not doing the right thing and always doing what pleases others.
i look at myself in the mirror and i see a body i donβt like.
I look at myself in the mirror and see myself with no objective.
although i am happy with life in terms of my partner i do not think i am happy with myself.
i wish not to grow old and awaken with the thought that i could have been great if it were not for my loser behavior.
i used to dwell in solitude, my days - draped in shadows, my heart - a desolate void. i was lonely and that feeling drowned me every day, until her. a serendipitous encounter, she shined in vibrant hues, and casted them upon my world. with her, my desolation crumbled, and my once-inky thoughts slowly fell apart and became nothing but distant memories. she helped me paint my grayscale world with loving and tender strokes.
so there is this girl.
something very special radiates from her. a spark between us unlike anything i have felt before.
we met over coffee and my heart skipped a beat as i saw her there standing. my hands sweaty, my heart rate as fast as i drive, my legs tapping at a hundred miles per hour - she was aesthetically beautiful in the walls of the cozy mansion.
we struck a conversation, but i did most of the talking but mainly because i was really nervous. but, in the short time we had at the coffee shop, i was amazed how much we had in common. like two kindred spirits, who were meant to cross paths and connect on such a beatiful cloudy day.
after the coffee shop closed, there was still this undeniable energy lingering in the air between us. we both wanted more from each other. we decided to grab lunch at this ramen place, where we both eagerly dove into our bowls of spicy noodles and continued our sparkling conversation, effortlessly flowing from one topic to another. something that i dont experience because im awkward, but with her, as if i had known her for years.
after lunch, we took a stroll around downtown, where we explored a small comic shop, and i was thrilled to discover that she was just as much as a dork as myself. i felt i could be true to myself with her.
our walk ended at an arcade with a bar, where we both had a drink and had a lovely conversation. as we sipped on our alcholic beverage, i couldn't help but feel... enchantment. we started playing mortal kombat on one of the arcade machine, where i got absolutely destory, i must have lost about eleven times! but it was at this moment that i realized something special was to happen. an intense connection with, and i knew i wanted her and only her.
i haven't felt this happy in months...
okay so few updates right? side note: im typing this while eating some dino nuggets. i did not heat them up enough since they are still cold but i want to say they are precooked so it shouldnt be danger danger.
peace.