i dont like the way i look. people say that i should not care what other people think of me. but i am my biggest hater. so when i go to the gym every exercise is until failure. there is no other way. and i am not competing or trying to be an influencer, i just want to be the best... person that i can be. and at times i dont know why i do this. there are days where i dont want to go the gym. but i just go. out of habit? out of discipline? im not sure. but when i am at the gym everything locks in. every workout hits. every workout makes me grab a dumbbell and throw it at someones face (not really, but you know, fired up). besides the pump, reaching failure is probably my favorite part of it. its an addiction. knowing you have reached the end and you can not squeeze one more. the feeling is euphoric. this is what sisyphus is being robbed from by the way. he is not being punished by rolling the rock forever. he being punished by not letting him achieve failure.